October 2025
Limerence is a pretty interesting concept. I had the pleasure of being introduced to both the theoretical definition, and applied principle. Needless to say, it’s not the best feeling. For those unfamiliar, the term, or at least how I interpret it, refers to a mild obsession/infatuation with someone who probably doesn’t know you even exist. I think the reason this happens probably differs greatly amongst people. Some see it as a result of their raging ADHD, some are purely interested in fantasies and use Limerence as a way to live out their dreams, others may leverage it as a way to crawl out of their boredom. If you ask me, I find myself inching toward the latter. It’s been a weird week to say the least. I’ve reached a point where I do feel pretty satisfied with who I’ve become and what I’ve done so far. Something that is quite rare for me, as I intrinsically programmed myself to chase the next best thing. High school was the platform to get into college, and to later get a stable, ‘prestigious’ job. What then? Well in my head the next step was, and to be honest currently is, to get rich. Pretty broad right. Success to me is measured as presence. In a room full of people how many recognize your achievements? How many don’t. The proportion of sane people who do recognize your achievements without you even opening your mouth is exactly how I define success. Now you may think this makes me sound pretty self-absorbed, and maybe at times I am. But the reason I pin success to this concept is not because of what recognition ignites. Recognition amongst peers (for good qualities or achievements) puts you in a unique situation in which you’ve already brokered their trust. If I’m someone known for my ability to build successful startups from the ground up, rest assured I can walk into any gathering and find a group of people to fund my next venture. Put it another way, recognition means pre-disposed opportunity, which further translates to an easier path down the road. Back to my original point. While I do not think I’ve hit the end of the recognition road, it feels like I’ve achieved a well deserved position of rest in which I can focus on other things. Turns out I’m not really good at doing things other than working. As a result, I’ve developed a habit to obsess over small things in my attempt to flee my boredom. One of the more successful tactics that I’ve done this is via our previously discussed Limerence. It’s one thing to meet an individual, feel a genuine connection and be excited for what’s in store. It’s another to fabricate a story to escape the inevitable boredom. I do wonder how many individuals face this feeling. I can’t be sure if its genetic or not. Anecdotally my relative has faced similar issues. I also know there is a pretty big reddit community for it online. What I don’t know however is how many of these people face it due to the same reasons I do? Is it something you develop over time? Or just something that comes in waves. I’m writing this about a week after my initial experience with it, so a lot of the feelings are dulled down to the point of satisfied ambivalence—meaning I’m no longer dwelling on the initial situation at hand. What I can dwell on, is ways to learn from the experience as a whole.