October 2025
I think about this a lot. I have a pretty big hatred for those who take themselves too seriously. The root of this issue is still unknown to me, but my clarity of hate towards this group of individuals is strong. To some extent this translates to my fears as well. One of the things I fear most is reaching an old age and regretting the actions and decisions I made in my past. The fear of regret to me outshines any other emotion when making a decision. It is part of the reason why I do not consider myself risk averse. It is also a main driver behind my extroverted nature. Why waste time worrying about what others think, or how you are perceived? In college I had the pleasure of rooming with three wonderful people. The group dynamics of this monkey patched group of individuals was interesting to say the least. Two of us were your standard extroverted individuals. We truly gained energy by being around other people, and our outlook on life was driven exclusively from this energy. The third individual seemed, to me at first, the polar opposite. As I got to know him better I realized that he too gained energy off of others, but his limiting factor was his anxiety. Social anxiety prevented him from coming out of his shell, forcing him to remain in the shadows and often locked up in his Roomate for the better part of our college tenure. While there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert (a lot of the people I care most deeply about are), there is something to be said about limiting yourself based on how your social anxiety affects you. If you truly want to do something, you need to break the cycle of anxiety and reach for those goals. Now I know a lot of what I’m saying comes off with “easier said than done energy.” And that’s totally valid to feel that way. Perhaps explaining my fourth Roomate’s story might illuminate some more insight into this topic. My fourth Roomate started out as a really shy individual. His propensity to meet new people was high, but his upbringing and early experiences made it hard for him to take things lightly. As a result, a lot of his early experiences in college were limited by his slight shyness. As he progressed through college, I watched him grow into someone that I looked up to for his confidence and demeanor. The change? He stopped taking things so seriously. With a foundation of good friendships he had built from earlier on, he was sure of himself and his support system. New interactions, people, and friendships came easier as a result of not putting so much pressure on the concepts themselves.
“If it happens it will happen, just make sure you put yourself in a position where you’re more likely to make it happen.”And it makes sense. I think the biggest limitation most people face in exploring the world—including my first Roomate—is social anxiety. But where does this anxiety come from? It comes from placing too many chips in one place. It comes from over-estimating the amount people care about you as opposed to just caring about themselves. It comes from taking things too seriously when they’ll be forgotten by the rest of the world minutes, if not hours later. So when should we take life seriously? My philosophy on this has changed in the last week or so. Initially I would have told you nothing except work should be taken with seriousness. I do still believe this for the most part, but the blanket of exception has definitely increased. Though meaningful connections can come from randomly speaking to individuals in a low stakes environment, abusing the rule of taking life frivolously can cause the individual your meeting to mistake you for not caring. Which is the last thing any human being wants to feel. So be cautious with this philosophy. Anything deemed “higher stakes” should be approach with a little more seriousness. Not too much though, as you’ll end up in the same bucket as those who spend the rest of their life wishing they could have done more and pushed past their anxiety.
— Some random dude I overheard in my freshman year of college.